i am Paul Cram

Collapsed into bed after a quick shower, sweat finally rinsed away.
I’m sore... haven’t-danced-that-hard-in-years sore. Sweat dripping into my eyes, lungs open, voice absolutely gone, body worked. This week has been heavy, and my body needed somewhere for it to go.

Tonight on the dance floor, I let the anger, rage, joy, and something softer move through me and out of my body.
And honestly? I didn’t know this was something I needed.

I started dancing alone.
I didn’t end up that way.

Grateful for the people who showed up, moved, and let loose with me. A friend, J—and some strangers who became dance-floor friends. I needed that more than I realized. And I see how blessed and privileged I am to even be able to move around in this way. With freedom.

Still sad. Still sore. A little melancholy.
And smiling too—because this life, even when I don’t fully get it, is better with a few people I get to call friends.

Goodnight. Let’s keep going.

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

📚 We started 2026 the way we like to—together, with a good book and a better conversation.

Our Men-Who-Read book club’s first read of the year was Moonwalking With Einstein by Joshua Foer—and the verdict? Worth it. Smart, engaging, and a solid walk through how memory works, how we’re taught (or not), and why paying attention matters. A little eye-rolling at a few “bro club” moments, sure—but overall, a good book and a great conversation.

What matters most: men of all sexuality stripes showing up curious, thoughtful, and willing to listen. Reading together. Talking honestly. Building real community.

More books. More connection. Onward into 2026. 📖✨

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

You don’t have to complete a checklist to be worthy of existing…
Of pursuing your very own happiness.You are not a “before” photo waiting for permission to live.Your worth is not dependent on beingmore muscular
more “holy”more handsomemore clever
More interestingmore anything.Striving for health, growth, humor, joy?Great. Keep that.But none of it is a prerequisite.Knowing you are already enoughis a quiet power move.It changes how you show up.What you tolerate.What you stop chasing.It also changes who stays.(Some people can’t handle you without self-doubt attached.)Let them go.They were attached to your proving, not your presence.Build your life from enough.Not hustle. Not shame. Not “one day.”You are allowed to exist—fully—right now.This is your story, and you get to write a hell-of-a-lot of it.
You are allowed to exist as you are. You are enough. You are worthy.

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

For anyone who grew up with faith before they had a choice—and is now doing the slow work of figuring out what they actually believe (the real work, not the performative kind):

Be gentle with yourself.

Unlearning indoctrination isn’t rebellion—it’s discernment.
Letting go of beliefs that harmed you isn’t failure—it’s care.

You’re allowed to question.You’re allowed to evolve.You’re allowed to build a spiritual life—or none at all—that honors your body, your mind, and your experience.

The stories we inherit aren’t always the ones we keep.

That work counts. You count.

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

Holidays can stir up old family wounds.
Some need tending, not reopening—soft bandages, time, care.
To anyone healing from what you didn’t deserve: you’re allowed to heal and protect yourself from being hurt again.

2 months ago | [YT] | 1

i am Paul Cram

🎄📚This month we read "Christmas: A Candid History" by Bruce David Forbes and learned a few delightful curveballs:

✨ Christians didn’t celebrate Christmas for three centuries

✨ Puritans once made Christmas illegal (imagine banning tinsel)

✨ St. Nicholas shows up as… an elf?!



Overall take: a thoughtful, level-headed look at Christmas history from a Christian author who isn’t afraid to say, “Let’s all calm down.” No “war on Christmas” here—just a reminder that December has always been about winter, community, and a little joy… and maybe Christians can claim the 12 days after if they want to get specific. 😉



A bit dry in spots, but sprinkled with genuinely fascinating (and occasionally what-did-the-church-do-with-the-bones?!) moments.



Festive? Yes. Educational? Absolutely.

Overthinking Christmas just enough? Also yes. 🎁😄

#MenWhoRead #BookClubVibes #ChristmasHistory #ReadCuriously #WinterReads

2 months ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

Where’s the dating app for middle-aged gay librarians? Asking for a friend… and by “friend,” I mean me, holding a library card and questionable intentions. 😇📘💋 I am actively looking for a middle-aged gay librarian who can whisper “quiet, please” in all the right ways. 😌📚❤️‍🔥

Skip the Carousel

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3 months ago | [YT] | 2

i am Paul Cram

Came home after the End-of-Kickball-Season party. Good laughs, a little flirting, maybe one too many drinks — and that familiar quiet hit when I walked through the door.
Sometimes in these settings, I catch myself wishing someone would just “pick me already.” Not desperate… more like, “hey, notice me, please?!” 👋
Not just the talkative, ridiculous version of me that cannot stop laughing — the whole me: quiet, serious, weird, intense, overly intense about books, perfume, and bike lanes. 😂
But it’s dawning on me: that warmth of being someone’s special someone… it’s already here. In my chest, in my core, humming like a steady glow.
So tonight, I’m holding that. The calm, the safety, the soft exhale that says:
I belong.
I matter.
I’m already chosen.
Still wouldn’t mind someone cute noticing though. 😉
Maybe someday. Until then, I've got this. (And I do need to get a cat.)
#latenightthoughts #queerjoy #worthylove

4 months ago | [YT] | 1

i am Paul Cram

As the holidays creep closer, I’ve been thinking about family and the literal / proverbial table we gather together at 🍽️

For years, my seat at the family table was conditional. I was tolerated as long as I never spoke about being gay 🌈, never mentioned boyfriends 💔 I was meant to be grateful for crumbs — not celebrated.

I deserve more than being tolerated, I deserve to be celebrated.

Chosen family has shown me what real love looks like 💛 How it nourishes, how it exists all year round, with a seat at the table every day, no strings attached 🤗
Because of that love, I’m learning I am worthy. Worthy of more. Worthy of dignity in my life, in my relationships, all of it.

These past few years, I’ve been sitting at a new table 🪑 Built from chosen family, unabashed love 💖, and people who don’t flinch at the word gay 🌈

4 months ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

Had one of those great nights with friends—laughing until it hurt, talking about everything and nothing, even dancing a bit at a club. Someone told me “I enjoy how much you laugh.”
Now I’m home, feeling both grateful and a little melancholy. Friends are wonderful, but sometimes you wish you had that one person whose hand you could hold through the music, whose presence makes the quiet even more cozy.
Maybe someday. Maybe with a cat. Or maybe both. 🖤

4 months ago | [YT] | 0