Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

✨️As I continue to share on the topic of love, I am moved to look within more deeply, to self examine, and self check.

✨️I see my imperfections.

✨️I see my growth.

✨️I feel the deep resonance with me.

✨️I grieve the many moments of misalignment from something so incredibly powerful and pure.

✨️Overall, I am just grateful for how amazing love is.

✨️It is the most valuable currency of life to me, and I am humbled by it.

So, today, I want to inspire you all to grow and prosper from a place of love. We were created for this! Choosing to grow and build on no other foundation but love is not easy all the time, but it is well worth it.

How has loving and being loved led you to expand and show up as a human being? Please share in the comments below.

This new week, I challenge you all to grow and build on nothing less than love as your foundation. It is as essential to life as oxygen to human cells. Without it, our relationships struggle tremendously to grow, to prosper, and to be sustained in good health.

✨️Have A Transformational New Week!✨️

#rested #relaxed #renewed #life #reset #renew #rewire #daily #thoughtful #grounding
#Rewiring #blooming
#growing #Emoting
#sharing #thinking
#loving #thriving
#transformation
#motivation
#sunday

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3 days ago | [YT] | 0

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

Hi everyone,

Welcome to my new YouTube Community! Now you can post on my channel, too. To get started, tell me in a post what you'd like to see next on my channel.

Thanks for joining, and I look forward to hearing more from you all!

Visit my Community: youtube.com/@somethingbettertlc/community

6 days ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

✨️In loving relationships, there are no implicit or explicit requirements to:

🚫 accept another's interpretation as truth

🚫 apologize for intent you do not hold

🚫 concede character flaws you do not believe are accurate

🚫 regulate another nervous system by diminishing
yourself

✨️Instead, when love is leading, respect is abundant.

✨️Bids to betray your own integrity are off limits.

✨️Disagreement does not equal denial.

✨️Calm is not viewed as control or superiority.

✨️Healthy boundaries are not interpreted as self-centered.

✨️Neutrality does not equal provocation or indifference.

Be it familial, friendship, romantic, and professional relationships, I believe that respect, as a value and a standard, is nonnegotiable!

So, I invite you all to share in the comments ways that you show respect for your relationships, even when there are periods of misalignment.

If you need further support to breaking through any of these things, you are welcome to connect with SBTLC!

Support is here!

#groundinlove #emotewithlove
#LeadWithLove #sharethelove
#healthyboundaries #change #relationshipgoals #growth
#love #respect #empowerment
#transformation #healing
#blooming #strength #rewire
#reset #renew #transparency
#ConsistencyOverPerfection
#motivation #takeaction

6 days ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

✨️In emotionally damaging spaces, respect gets buried, and downward spirals unfortunately begin.

✨️A common undertone is, "You must think and feel like me for me to feel safe" or "I'm not safe unless you feel or think like me.

✨️A common outcome of these dynamics can be that the subconscious is allowed to drive us in attempts to erase the realities of others to feel uncomfortable again.

✨️Yes, we can be driven by our subconscious to attempt to override someone else's experiences to help self feel safer.

✨️So, whenever someone is repeatedly unwilling to tolerate a reality that isn't their own, that's a signal to step back- not ligitate to prove anything and make yourself more vulnerable.

✨️Being told that your internal experiences are "off" because they are different or that your boundaries are "push back" signals an attempted reality override. That type of ongoing emotional invalidation is not to be dismissed- but resolved interdependently (or unilaterally after a couple of unsuccesful repair attempts).

✨️If any of this sounds familiar, you’re likely in a dynamic that can no longer hold the full version of you or your internal realities.

✨️Instead of respectfully accepting that we all have different experiences, some people can start to use their feelings and experiences as the standard for what is "correct".

✨️Be it unintentionally or intentionally that people do show up with such volitaity, it is healthy to set boundaries and step away as needed.

✨️It's not time to activate into overdrive, though sometimes, we may feel an inner urge to do so.

✨️If you're navigating on the receiving end of these dynamics, understand that you can't reach someone whose subconscious is using their defense filters/mechanisms as a wall to keep your true self out.

✨️You can't reach someone who is emotionally flooded, or has an internal alarm that won't allow them to open up to your reality.

✨️When love (for self and others) is allowed to lead, people compassionately hold space for autonomy and differences without needing to agree, understand, nor activate these four "over-" reaction below that I want to share.

They are:

➡️ Overextending

➡️ Overexplaining

➡️ Oversharing

➡️ Overfunctioning

✨️These 4 patterns are typically relied on whenever there are fears and insecurities driving the brain into reactivity because the emotional climate is unsafe.

✨️Don't get caught in cycles where the 4 "over-" behaviors are being mistaken as love or compassion!

✨️Needlessly to say, the 4 "over-" behaviors are nonconducive to maintaining fulfilling, meaningful, and secure relationships long-term.

✨️Now, let's look at 3 ways these things can be navigated through.

1. ️Accept Being Misunderstood:

➡️Personal insecurities will have you rely on external validation before you feel free to own your experience as valid. That's just not true, so watch out for self limiting beliefs.

➡️Keep your deeper emotional "shares" for those who have higher empathetic intelligence.

➡️Instead of always trying to fill the gap, sit in it. Don't add more to fix the awkwardness.

2. ️Locate the "Why":

➡️Ask yourself, "Am I trying to connect, or am I overextending, oversharing, overexplaining, or overfunctioning to reestablish feelings of safety?"

➡️If you're in overdrive to be safe (to stop someone from judging, distancing, or pathologizing you), don't say or continue doing more.

➡️You are allowed to pause the conversation, stop overfunctioning, reground yourself, and resume when respect and clarity are present again.

➡️Compassion doesn't require that people understand another's reality to show up as needed. It requires witnessing what's going on with those we care about.

3. ️Clean Disengagement Statements:

➡️"I hear that’s how you’re perceiving it, but that’s not my experience. I’m going to stop discussing my experience on this now so we don't go in circles."

You aren't asking for permission to stop; you are stating a fact.

➡️"I’m not in a place where I want to receive advice or be analyzed right now. I need to revisit this another time when we're both ready."

This uses I-statements to focus on your needs rather than their behavior.

➡️"I value our connection, and because I do, I’m going to step away from this discussion before it becomes more draining for me. I’ll check back in when I’m feeling more settled."

➡️"I can see you have a different take on my experience, but my reality isn’t up for a vote. I need to end our talk until we both can mutually be accepting of each other."

From personal experience, I want to share that these things tend to lead toward extinction bursts if left unchecked, which aren't pleasant to go. So, things can get worse before they get better. Yet, temporary discomfort in the short-term is far better than self erasing to remain connected.

️The peaceful path that these tools help to create for the long term also help you return back into self integrity and compassion- not endless repair seeking, certainty seeking, nor overextending and oversharing.

Having gone through these types of dynamics several times myself, I want to inspire you toward healthy and secure relationship building. As a certified coach, it is a pleasure to help others navigate through personal challenges in relationships and life.

So, which of these "overs" is draining your tank the most today?

Let’s talk about it below.

Here to support and empower anyone looking for deeper support, as a personal coach that has truly btdt!

✨️Have A Transformational New Week!✨️

Comment "love" if you'd like deeper support navigating relationship challenges. Or, reach out via Facebook for my direct contact information:

www.facebook.com/share/1DQNdk8UBw/

#relationshipgoals #ConnectionOverPerfection #securelove #maturelove #leadwithlove #growth
#oversharing #defensiveness #peoplepleasing #distrust
#SelfStewardship #selfrespect
#secureattachment #habits #securerelationships #love #friendship #healthy #secure
#transformation #life #peace
#embrace #change
#heal #wounds #learn
#growthmindset #growth
#boundaries #stepback #letthem
#disengagement #wisdom #interdependence #autonomy #HealthyDetachment #reset #RespectMatters #balance
#takeaction #empowerment
#monday

1 week ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

When we make connections and build our relationships with a loving approach, love leads us to stay grounded through discernment. Distrust and mistrust aren't allowed to drive our thinking and actions. Instead, discernment does a better job of looking out for our own best interests, as well as that of those that we care about and connect with.

✨️A few things that discernment does:

➡️It serves to help protect you against betrayal, deception, or manipulation (from self or others) without the presence of constant suspicion and fear.

➡️It moves you toward better judgment by allowing you to see the reality of a situation rather than being blinded by past traumas or false narratives.

➡️It helps you to notice red flags and set boundaries, rather than simply projecting distrust onto others.

➡️It is a bridge above the impact of both naive trust and toxic mistrust.

✨️On the other hand:

➡️Distrust leads you to dwells on past wrongs, but discernment understands the situation, allowing space for grace when nevessary, and resolution to prevent further damage.

➡️️Mistrust can erode a relationship by opening the door to fear and doubt, but discernment operates with love and focuses on protecting the relationship.

✨️Investing in a relationship without discernment often leads to individuals blindly cocreating unsustainable connections, and exposing each other to cycles of pain.

✨️In loving relationships, discernment acts as a protective barrier of awareness, allowing us to gathers information to understand situations and set healthier boundaries without destroying connection.

P.S.

I am dedicating the month of February to the topic, "Building and Connecting From Love". I want to empower others to do just that.

So, please stay connected, and engage! TIA! 🙏🏾

#lovingrelationships #discernment #distrust #mistrust #awareness
#secure #relationship #secureattachment #letlovelead
#building #healthy #secure #connections #LoveJourney
#lifejourney #letloveflow
#mondaymotivation

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

✨️The way that conflict, disagreement, and struggle are navigated says a lot about whether the relationship you are investing in is being built on a foundation of genuine love, or not.

✨️When love is not leading, disengagement, fighting, and/or many other self sabotaging behaviors become the predominant ways things are managed.

✨️When love is allowed to flow freely, and be the main driver of your thoughts, emotions, and actions, a coregulated style of relating predominates to high levels.

✨️People will be heard, seen, and understood where they are.

✨️Healthy levels of attuning with each other will exist, within good reason.

So, in your relationships and interactions with others around you, I want to inspire you to consider what your predominant orientation might be when things don't quite align, or become uncomfortable for you.

It is definitely human to realize when there's room for improvement. That's for sure a step in the right direction, if so. You can start rewiring your orientation toward a more loving one. Becoming more intentional about the way you invest in connections and build relationships is very important.

Investing and building with love is totally worth it!

✨️Have A Transformational New Week!✨️


#goals #buildwithlove #leadwithlove
#BuildBetter #LoveJourney #perfectlove #letloveflow #relationship #habits #emotewithlove #perfectlove #imperfectvessels #coregulation #HappyNewWeek #Sunday
#relationshipgoals #love #intentionality #loveneverfails

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

Being in performance mode has its place in life, but as a norm, burnout is likely inevitable.

As we progress toward goals we have, it is important to avoid compromising growth in the process. This is done by recognizing the signs of real growth or being in performance mode. While growth and performance can co-exist, being in performance mode for too long gets in the way of growth and fulfillment.

So, I want to bring your attention to a few signs that signal that you're in growth mode vs. performance mode.

Growth is occurring when:

1. You enjoy the process and learn new things despite the challenges or setbacks that come up.

2. Challenges lead to greater intentionality, creativity, and proactive adjustments.

3. You have a sense of alignment, purpose, and balance along the way.

4. You are open to feedback and support in relationship to personal limitations.

Performance Mode:

1. You compare yourself with others often, evaluating how you measure up.

2. You disconnect from self, or force yourself forward more to "win" or keep going, so self nurturing goes on the back burner.

3. You overly rely on, or look for, external validation, approval for dopamine hits (motivation).

4. You view feedback and mistakes in relation to your personal goals as attacks or failures instead of opportunities to gain understanding and pivot toward growth.

With your heart, mind, body, and soul, I encourage you to choose growth! Share your experiences below about how you are mindfully navigating toward goals you have, with balance.

We're in the journey of life together. Reach and connect for greater support. SBTLC is happy to support!

✨️Have A Transformational New Week!✨️

#growthseason #healingseason
#growthjourney #healingjourney
#success #healing #wisdom #purpose #patience #neveralone #leadwithlove #compassion #balance #growthmindset #motivation #transformation #goals #empowerment #life
#selfawareness #love
#Trusttheprocess #takeaction #realtalk #somethingbettertlc

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

Self-worth that wins in life is deeply rooted in the belief that you are inherently valuable. It holds up and is deeply grounded, regardless of what gets thrown our way in the mix of life.

Regardless of what achievements you have or don't have....

Regardless of how attractive you can or cannot make yourself appear....

Regardless of whether another human being gives you love, affection, approval, presence, or validation....

We all need a self-worth that doesn't allow us to rob ourselves by indulging pleasures, or anything, that we know leaves us empty afterwards.

Having a solid and deeply rooted sense of self gives no room for temporary, superficial, or empty pleasures to dictate your choices or provide a false sense of fulfillment, love, and security.

This is not about perfectionism but genuine maturity, inner security, deep awareness, growth, and a real embodiment of the flawsome traits that shine from within you!

#growthbecomesyou #lifeisajourney #GrowthJourney
#experience #beautifuldestinations
#foryouシ #livewithbalance #mindfulness #selfawareness #goalsettingforsuccess #emotewithbalance #emotewithcare #empathy #empowerment #peaceofmind
#humility #virtue #Standards
#transformation #balance #healthyboundaries
#kindness #gratitude
#yourfutureselfwillthankyou
#somethingbettertlc

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

I can remember times when I often felt burned out, stuck, lost, defeated, and overwhelmed. The thing is that I started to believe that those experiences were something I just had to live with until things around me changed. My locus of control was mostly externally driven.

I mean... 💁🏽‍♀️, I was doing my best to stay on my grind, and maintain my values and goals. I felt a sense of gratitude for what was good in my life. Yet, looking back, I wasn't intentionally taking the time to deeply self examine and self align as much as I needed. And yes, some things at times felt deeply misaligned at my core.

Of course, I've thrown in the towel here and there. I can clearly see now that I struggled due to a lack of self-awareness, and I was fearful of meeting with inevitable obstacles in life. What I needed at deep levels seemed forbidden or outside of my control.

That is one example of where low self-awareness can lead. Before many can process and realize, often auto pilot kicks in. They find themselves lost in a subconscious feedback loop reflected in inner self-talk that goes something like this:

"Things just keep getting in my way, so I am done trying."

"I don't have what I need. It's better to play it safe until...."

"I felt there was no use of trying after getting so many rejections."

"If only I had kept going, I would have done it by this point."

"I wasted so many years, and it's too late."

Those are some of the impacts of low self-awareness that can lead to goal abandonment, or even self abandonment. Being just one essential part of the foundation that we all need to transform and grow in any domain of life, it can empower us to embody new practices from the inside out to reach goals.

✨️Have A Transformational New Week!✨️

#goals #selfawareness #selfexamine #knowyourself
#knowyourcapacity
#knowyourpurpose #yourvision #knowyourgoals #takeaction
#selfattune #embracechange #onestepatatime #improve #grow
#align #thrive #somethingbettertlc
#sundayvibes #HappyNewWeek

1 month ago | [YT] | 1

Something Better Transformational Life Coaching

How does inner duty help us approach challenges?

Inner duty is about having a proactive mindset that helps us stay "online" during stress. It is the opposite of shutting down, forgetting about our commitments, reinforcing tendencies to not communicate, or just going offline. Although for many, these are involuntary responses we have deeply conditioned within us, we can transform at a deep level, as opposed to making temporary changes on a surface level.

When it comes to our inner duty, it is not to be confused with overperformance and forcing ourselves to push through day to day events and tasks. In balance, tending to our inner duty supports our engagement during challenging moments and conflicts of interests.

Tending to our inner duty empowers us to:

1. See challenges/conflicts as opportunities.

2. Operate from an internal locus of control, instead of simply reacting to external pressures.

3. Have intrinsic persistence to sustained effort and creativity because it aligns with who you are, or the person you are becoming.

4. Be regulated during temporary discomfort.

5. Remain engaged until the emotional intensity subsides.

With these in mind, I want you to feel empowered in the reality that life is better when we live up to our internal standards rather than external pressures. Again, it's not just about pushing through tasks and through shutdown responses as a norm. It's a mind transformation, a life transformation, meant to help you emerge stronger.

✨️Have A Transformational Day!✨️

#thursday #thoughts
#transformation #wisdom
#challenges #conflict #rewiringthebrain #resetingyourheart #takeaction
#abetterway #abetteryou
#somethingbettertlc

1 month ago | [YT] | 1