The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

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3 days ago | [YT] | 25

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

Get ready for a real Galentine’s conversation you won’t hear anywhere else.
It’s a seasoned, soul-filled Galentine’s Live about love, standards, and everything in between.


Join the Seasoned Sistas LIVE
February 12, 2026 | 8:30 PM EST


We’re talking honestly about:


- Modern love and dating after 40
- Best and worst Valentine’s Day experiences
- Romance… is it still alive or on life support?
- Situationships and their impact on real relationships
- Standards vs Expectations


Nothing is off limits. Expect real talk on:


- Do flowers still hit the same or nah?
- Celibacy and personal choice
- Courting vs. dating… what’s the difference today?
- Would you approach a man first or wait to be approached?
- Have situationships contributed to the decline of true romance?
- Let’s be honest… have toys replaced the boys?


Plus the fun:


Rapid Fire “Smash or Pass” segment


Set the vibe:
Pour your wine, gather your girls, and come ready for real conversation and real laughs

1 week ago | [YT] | 56

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

Ladies, I am dropping this here that I posted on my Substack page as well as Facebook. Let me know if any of this resonates with you.

Be honest here - this is a safe space.
How important are gifts to you? How important is it for Valentine's Day to be acknowledged by the man you are with? Again - BE HONEST! And don't forget I will see you on LIVE at 8PM EST, February 12th.

So here is the piece I wrote:

THE SEXIEST THING A MAN CAN DO IS PAY ATTENTION
Valentine’s Day Isn’t the Problem. Attention Is. A story about listening, effort, and why small things still matter.

Valentine’s Day soon come and whew… a whole lot of folks still side-eye February 14th as if it owes them money. Some men boycott it. Some women roll their eyes at it. Some of y’all treat it like a federal holiday of unnecessary pressure. 😩

Every year it’s the same chorus:
“It’s all about money.”
“It’s just one day.”
“Why do I gotta spend a bag to prove I care?”

And listen, I get it. Somewhere between the $12 greeting cards, the reservations that require a deposit and a prayer, and roses that suddenly cost as much as a light bill, the day started feeling less like romance and more like a marketing department’s annual performance review. Folks start guarding their wallets like Cupid is running credit checks.

But here’s what always makes me tilt my head a little.
We will spend money on brunch.
On sneakers.
On the latest iPhone.
On a $300 bottle of cologne. On bundles, beard oils, handbags, fantasy leagues, game systems, and subscriptions we forgot we even signed up for.

Yet somehow… when it comes to expressing love, suddenly it becomes a philosophical debate about capitalism and calendar dates.

Me? I still love the idea of Valentine’s Day, even as I have approached this day as a single woman for too many years for me to count. I can’t remember the last time I was someone’s Valentine, but I still love the day because I love… love.

Always have. Always will.

But for my anti-Valentine’s crew, let me offer a different spin. Because maybe it isn’t about how much you spend. Maybe it’s about how closely you’ve been paying attention. Believe it or not, the majority of us women don’t care about the “things” as much as we do the effort. I mean, yeah, some do, but if you truly know your woman, then you know her love language. And all women love language are not gifts. But I one love language that I bet that all we women can agree on is acts of service. Most importantly, listening and paying attention even when we may think that you aren’t.

So boom - check this out.

For the last three months, your girl has been saying she wants to change that powder room downstairs. She hates that outdated wallpaper but does NOT want to deal with the headache of removing it. It’s been sitting on her mental to-do list right next to “drink more water” and “stop answering texts from people I don’t like.”

Valentine’s morning comes.
You get up, cook breakfast, act regular. Nothing suspicious. Then you tell her, “Come ride with me real quick.”

Y’all pull into Home Depot.

Now she’s looking at you like:
“…sir. On Valentine’s Day? We are not about to be in here looking at power tools and plywood.”

Immediate attitude.
Phone comes out. Group chat activated.
“Girl… he done brought me to Home Depot on Valentine’s Day. Pray for him.”

You? Stay calm.
Grab a cart. Start walking. No speech. No explanation. Just head straight to the paint section like you’ve been training for this moment all week.

Pick up wallpaper remover.
Scoring tool.
Scraper.
Drop it in the cart.
Keep moving.

Now she's watching you real close.
“Marcus… what are you doing?”

Don’t even answer.
Just toss another item in the cart.
If she keeps asking with that tone, give her a quick kiss and keep pushing. Confusion will silence her better than an argument ever could.

Ease over to the paint color wall.

Her bathroom is currently blue, but she’s been talking about that warm spiced pumpkin color or something cozy and rich. Start pulling paint swatches. Hand them to her.

“Pick the one you want.”

Now her eyes are blinking really fast. Those lash extensions are cooling her cheeks like a Kenya Moore fan. She’s processing. Suspicious.
“Wait… what is this?”

“Pick a color you want the bathroom painted.”

Watch it happen.
That whole face changes.
Attitude melts.
Smile, trying not to show. But that kitty is purring like the engine on a 2026 Bentley Flying Spur.

Now the Group Chat getting a live update in real time:
“Wait a minute… hold on…”

See, it’s the little things. Always has been.

Because the truth is, most people don’t actually hate Valentine’s Day. They hate the pressure attached to it. The expectation that romance must come wrapped in receipts and reservations. The idea that love only counts if it’s expensive or Instagrammable.

But real romance has never required a prix-fixe menu.
It requires attention.
Listening.
Follow-through.

So fellas, here’s the key:
Don’t just buy the supplies and let them sit in the trunk for six months like a broken promise. Go home and start the project that same day. Music on. Old clothes on. Get to work together.

And ladies… have some cold drinks ready. Fix him a sandwich. Help with the painting. Turn it into a vibe instead of a chore.

Because sometimes the most romantic thing isn’t roses and reservations.
It’s someone paying attention to what you’ve been saying all along… and actually doing something about it.

That right there?
Better than any teddy bear holding a heart.

Everybody wins.

XXXOOO’s,

Chloe

1 week ago | [YT] | 34

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

Hey Ladies!

This Thursday, January 29, 2026, at 8:30 EST, please tune in to the Three Seasoned Sistas hosted on Kaye Lahni's YouTube Channel ‪@kayelanhi‬ for open conversation and Q&A. Bring your questions and invite a friend because you don't wanto miss this! We are discussing EVERYTHING! Things you are going through. Things you may "forget" you're going through. LOL! And everything in between! You're in for a treat because I think we all have things we want to get off our chest!


Also, make sure to save the date, February 12, 2026, at 8:30 EST, when I will be hosting VALENTINE’s LIVE: Dating After 40 | Red Flags, Real Love & New Rules


This Valentine’s LIVE is for every woman choosing herself first. 💋 We’re talking dating after 40, protecting your peace, spotting red flags early, deciphering these new dating rules, and still knowing how to recognize real love when it shows up. And if love isn’t in the room right now? Baby, we’re still keeping it sexy and learning how to date ourselves with intention, confidence, and high standards. ✨💘

3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 129

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

Greetings Beautiful People, from Punta Cana 🛫🏝️


😩😩😩😩 Dang it, I am toooo “seasoned” for these books to have me all in my feelings like this!!!

I have to remind myself that this young lady is young enough to be my child because she writes so well from an era and perspective that is so reminiscent of the 90’s, which was definitely MY entrance into adulthood and living that fast paced risky adrenaline pumping “urban”, life.

Her works places me right back in the midst of a world I wasn’t raised in, but like Amore in this book, sucked me into it in such a romantized way, I was drowning before I knew just how deep the waters were that I was in.

This book threw me headfirst into the depths of that first “real”, love. The coolness, not rah rah yet passion that were men of our era, who were not loud and trying to be seen, but at the same time, who made you feel protected and respected. Back when a man being possessive about HIS, wasn’t a bad thing, like is seen today, by both men and women, alike. Back when men “did not play about you”, and wasn’t afraid to let it be known to ALL! And when asked, “Aye man, that’s you?!”, without a moments hesitation and with grit in his tone responded, “Yeah. That’s ALLLLL me”!

And once THAT claim was put on it, you IMMEDIATELY became unfuckwitable, and protected by any that knew your dude. The same way Gwaup crew was about Amore. Plus, how he also didn’t allow no woman from his past to play in her face.

And especially, back when men saw certain things as - women shyt. Back when men didn’t justify why it was okay for them to do whatever it is,because,“Well y’all women do it toooooo”! Instead certain things were beneath their level of manhood.

So yesss, this book had me alllll in my feels. I shed some emotional tears of nostalgia with this one, and it brought back some memories I had long left behind. Some men from my past who made me feel like lil mama because yeah - they didn’t play about me!

So now we must keep this party train going as I lay here soaking up this Punta Cana sun.

Downloading Parachutes….riiiiiiight nowwwwwww!

Happy Sunday my loves! 🏝️

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4 weeks ago | [YT] | 97

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

Life Over 50: When Desire Quietly Changes - A Conversation We Don’t Have Enough

When talking to my seasoned sistas, I’m finding that many of us are going longer periods of time without — clears throat — intimate connections.

Especially we single ladies who aren’t regularly dating anyone special. Some of it comes from now requiring more than just a warm body in our beds. We want real intimacy, because we long ago outgrew jumping off the dresser just for the sport of it.

No judgment here. None.

But for many, the desire is simply no longer there. And one day you look up and realize you haven’t even thought about it in weeks… then months. And like me, you find yourself sitting there trying to remember — now exactly when was the last time I shared physical closeness with a man — if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, sistas.

For me personally, days turned into weeks, weeks into months… until I was just sitting here thinking, well dang — it’s 2026, and it won’t be long before it’s been a full year since a man last touched my skin in that way.

When we were in our 30s — hell, even our 40s — did we ever imagine we’d reach this point? I know I didn’t.

And I’m going to keep it very candid here — I can’t even remember the last time I touched my own self like that. Toys be damned. When I crawl into bed at night, my routine is YouTube, a few games on my phone until my eyelids start sticking together, then I reach over, cut off the lamp (if it’s even on), roll over, and drift off into la-la land.

There is no DJ’ing. No personal human turntables below the waist.

At some point — and I don’t know when — things shifted from intentional abstinence to a “dang girl… do you even care about that part of your life anymore?”

And I don’t want to not care.

What if I meet the love of my life, and he wants me to become his wife? Will I even enjoy that part of me anymore, or will it feel like a chore?

— Hey… that rhymed, and I didn’t even try. —

Anywho… I remember when you’d be talking to a man, and the topic of “when was the last time” came up. If you said anything longer than a few months, they’d swear you were lying. Some women were — not wanting to seem loosey-goosey — but now?

Now that I hear women saying it’s been 2, 3, 6… even 10 years, it’s not hard for me to believe them. Not at all.

And I do wonder if men would even believe it, especially with everything being so hyper-“intimate” these days. For a while, I honestly thought I was the only one not regularly jumping off the dresser.

So here I sit… 12:37 AM, January 8, 2026, wondering if that desire will ever return — where I can fully enjoy this second season of life, carefree, without the worry of creating another human.

Or will one year turn into two… then suddenly it’s ten — and not only have I not missed physical closeness, but I no longer desire it at all.

1 month ago | [YT] | 123

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

I’m answering many of you who’ve asked me privately what happened to THAT friendship and why I chose to walk away. This conversation isn’t about dragging anyone — it’s about clarity, boundaries, and protection.

We’re also talking marriage vs long-term relationships, accountability, and why asking to see a divorce decree is not being “extra,” it’s being smart. Because when women don’t protect themselves, they run the risk of ending up listed as his “little friend” in the obituary… if they’re listed at all.

Take what applies, leave what doesn’t, and keep the comments grown and respectful. This is a safe space for real talk and real lessons.

Now tell me 👇🏽
- Do you believe long-term relationships offer enough protection, or does marriage matter more?

- Are you okay with being listed as the "LITTLE FRIEND" or the family saying you can't attend?

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 0

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

Shout out to all the daddy’s girls who have forever memories that have or will last, long after life on earth is done. 🕊️

2 months ago | [YT] | 61

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

Tonight’s Video Drops at 7 PM EST

Good morning, Beautifuls

Before I start my day, I wanted to share what’s coming to the channel tonight — a video I’ve been working on for a little while, but was inspired by one of my beautiful followers  ⁨, @kishaburnett9879⁩  , to create. In a previous video, I asked you all to submit questions you'd like me to answer about me, or just in general, my thoughts on. Kisha, gently and caringly asked about a painful chapter from my childhood… one I’ve publicly spoken on but without much detail.

Tonight, I’m answering it.
Not with graphic details, not with shock value, but with clarity, honesty, and the strength that comes from surviving what tried to break me.

If you’ve ever had to heal from something you couldn’t even name as a child, this video is for you.

I’m speaking from a place of growth, protection, and power — and I pray it reaches whoever needs it.

The video goes live at 7:00 PM EST.

Thank you for being here on this journey with me.

— Chloe

3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 93

The Chloe Barksdale Diaries

🔥 The Hard Truth Is HERE! 🔥
PODCAST PREMIERE OCTOBER 10, 2025 @ 6 O'CLOCK PM!

Sis… we said what needed to be said. 👏 From Black women waiting to be “saved,” to masculine energy, single mothers, snooping phones, and even dating rapper Special Ed 😅—we left NOTHING off the table.

💬 Now it’s YOUR turn:
👉 What’s YOUR truth about men, marriage, and respect?
Do you agree with us—or nah? Drop your thoughts below ⬇️ because we’re reading every single comment.

✨ Don’t forget to LIKE 👍🏾, SUBSCRIBE 🔔, and SHARE this convo with your sister circle—because the mic is on, the mic is hot, and NOTHING is off limits.

4 months ago | [YT] | 122