“Sometimes I think back how poor we were...”

“Rodney, I was only kidding. Don’t jump!”

“Thanks for being so well informed.”

“I picture myself in a different kind of place...”

“Things are going good for me. I just finished my first book. Now I’m gonna read another one.”

Guess you guys aren't ready for that yet, but your kids are gonna love it.

“Ugly chick, you kidding? When I took her home, my mother put newspapers on the floor.”

“When was the last time you won a bet?”

“Oh, he’s a strange doctor...”

“Dr. Katz, would your feelings be hurt if I left early today?”

“Hey, what are you doing? Find your own ledge.”

Rodney Dangerfield Presenting at the Grammys (1981)

“I’ll make you a star. You’ll be bigger than Shamu.”

“How come you stole from your mother?”

A few behind-the-scenes laughs between Sam Kinison and Rodney.

“I played hide and seek when I was three. Why, they wouldn’t even look for me.”

“Something smells fishy here.”

“I tell ya, when I was a kid I was ugly too...’”

Counting the minutes until your kids go back to school.

“Thanks Mom. I hope I can find a girl just like you, but without the whiskers.”

“I’ve got a suit for every day of the year. This is it.”

“When I was a kid it was different, I had it rough. Christmas I got batteries, toys not included.”

“The other night I told her, don’t laugh behind my back...”

“The comedians of tomorrow are out there. Maybe under your own roof.”

If you look up respect in the dictionary, you’ll find Rodney.

“No respect at all. When I was a kid, Halloween, my old man dressed me as a hydrant...”

“When I’m finished, I’ll make comedians outta ya.”

“My wife, she told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.”

Mr. Rogers meets Mr. Dangerfield

“We in this country tend to think of comedy as an unending resource.”

“I tell ya, I’m not bluffing. I get my own special or I’m gonna be a pancake.”

“My wife, she don’t help either. She can’t save a dime. I mean, who tips at a tollbooth?”

“When I was a kid, I could have used some of the extra love you had, cause I got no love at all.”

“I’ve got a dumb dog. We call him Egypt...”

“Hey, don’t paint me like a bad guy, will ya?”

“I tell ya Dean, it’s always a pleasure to see ya.”

“With cigarettes, my wife and I, we made a deal...”

“First I’ll get my bowling ball rebuffed.”

“I tell ya, with my wife, when she's behind the wheel it’s always something, ya know?”

“My father, he was a workaholic. Oh yeah. You mention work, he got drunk.”

“Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt you but I believe I’ve won.”

“Rodney, it looks like it’s going to be a small party after all.”

“I tell ya, my wife isn’t too smart, ya know...”

“So this is where my story ends. I’m just another prisoner of love.”

“My wife can’t do nothing right. She can’t cook, the worst cook in the world...”

“Wanda tried to stop me, but I told her she was full of hot air.”

“And when things go wrong in the apartment, I get no help from the superintendent.”

“When I was a kid I was so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black and white.”